He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
