I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize