Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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