If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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