you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
