He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize