I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
