ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
