I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize