She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
