We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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