we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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