How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
