she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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