HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
