he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
