so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
