I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
