like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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