He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
