She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
