Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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