Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
