we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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