dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize