the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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