I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
