You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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