I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
