she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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