Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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