Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
