Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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