After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
