I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my shit smells like andre
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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