Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
