he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
