I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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