she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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