Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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