I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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