Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
