Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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