He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
why do cheetos always look like penises
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
