Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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