just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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