Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
