butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
