I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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