Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
