the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize