Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
