dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
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Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize