billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
