she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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