tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I will be naked everywhere
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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