If i come over, it means nothing
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
