I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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